So TLC recently aired a new two episode premiere called "Geek Love."  Probably the most interesting discussion point that came up after watching this show with her, well... I was more playing a game on the laptop called "Gratuitous Space Battles."  Basically, imagine a game where all you do is decide whether you want your Imperial cruiser to have powered armor, ablative armor, shields, reflective shields, regenerating shields, auto-repair systems, fusion lasers, quantum blasters, defence (silly Europeans) lasers, missile launchers, decoy missiles, rocket launchers, targeting lasers, missile defense lasers...

Okay, so now you're probably aware of why this show was so interesting to her, but anyway...  We were watching Geek Love and the interesting discussion point came up when I was asked a simple question.  "Do you ever wish you married a geek girl instead?"

RED ALERT! RED ALERT!  A trap question was identified to our port side.

Questionable questions aside, it was an honest question.   The simple answer was, "No."  The longer answer was, "No. Never."

Alright, so you'd like a bit further discussion on the subject matter? I certainly hope so as that's what I'll be doing for a few more paragraphs.  Basically, the unimagineable awesomeness of her largely comes from the fact that she isn't a geek girl, or much more importantly... she isn't what I wanted.  Or at least that I thought I had.

An oft told story is how I met her on a blind date.  Blind dates are, for the most part, innately random.  Almost like a dark splotch on our fantastically beautiful world that we call the cosmos.  I used to loathe whoever came up with the idea of "blind dates."  Granted, I loathed them moreso because I never got to go out on them, but the premise seemed flawed at best.  If I can't get a date with someone I know, who says that someone I don't know would even care?  Cause let's face it... there is probably something wrong with you if you can't get dates with people you know.

"Hey, want to go on a date with my friend?  He's a really nice guy but can't ever seem to find girls that want to go out with him.  I mean, he's got a lot of interesting hobbies but not used to talking to women.  I mean, he's got a great personality!  So... how about he picks you up this Saturday at 8?"

That scenario does little to inspire confidence, which consequently landed me in my loathsome state.  Of course, nothing was ever wrong with me.  It was everyone else who had the problems!

Internal monologuing aside, I had recently been hooked on a song by The Fray when I was dating her, and everything clicked.  The song is titled "She Is" and here's the chorus part"

This is a battle known well by her.  One that comes from deep within each moment upon which my eyes perceive to themselves a gem that is worth desiring.  A lesson from long ago, forever buried in my conscience.  How does one justify paying so much for a game?

Video gaming is an expensive hobby, depending on how you go about it.  For any real collector, you're bound to be spending quite a bit of money each year.  Significantly more than a subscription to Netflix, The Grocery Game, and probably even your data plan for that snazzy phone you bought (not realizing how the evil corporations that control the air waves are slowly bleeding you dry of your precious capital savings).  Honestly, it's quite hard to find any justification for buying a game which, after playing for approximately 10 hours, you'll probably finish, put on the shelf, and forget about by the time the "new hot thing" has arrived that you "simply must own."  The other problem with gaming is that the medium is not prone toward legacy value, unless you have something particularly iconic.  While years from now, people may still be playing (and even bidding on ebay for) the original Super Mario Bros., you're less than likely to find someone who will want to be playing Call of Duty 3 when they'll have moved on to better, faster, newer versions of the series (for those keeping track, the eighth iteration will be retailing in November).  With some exceptions, books are by and far, in comparison, much more likely to continue on into existence (either as they become completely free or as the electronic reading continues to advance in market share).

Arguably, this sort of metric can be expanded to criticize any pleasure spending.  My key weakness is food, as I enjoy food immensely.  I will pay for food.  I will pay people to make food for me.  I will pay people to make bad food for me.  If you feed me, I will pay.  For others, their weakness may be coffee, cigarettes, caffeine, CrossFit... the list goes on, creatively speaking.

Luckily, as far as gamers are concerned, there is a system much like Netflix for the distribution of games across the country to the various households of subscribers.  It's still quite expensive (though less than a data plan for your phone), but it helps ease the burden of buying games and selling them back for minimal return value.  In fact, such a glorified rental service provides the necessary venue to trying out games that you know you would like to play but would never buy (as they are too short, you're unsure if you would enjoy it, etc.).  For someone like myself, a recognized gaming aficionado, having a fairly inexpensive opportunity to keep abreast of the goings on in the video game world... this is certainly a cost that can be justified (if only vainly).

So without further ado, I signed up for the service and will be chronicling my experiences with it.  Hopefully, it will gain good remarks, but I will not hold back any biting criticisms if I believe they are relevant, necessary, and true.  Meanwhile, if you yourself would care to tread new ground alongside myself, I happen to be the holder of a "Buy 1 month, get 1 month free" web coupon (new buyers only).  For one game out a month, the price is a grumbling $16.95+tax.  The 2 or 3 game out plans increase by a grueling six dollars.

Much like Netflix, you set up a queue and get what is available (presumably in the order you've designated).  So what is available depends largely on your interests, but I was surprised at the number of readily available Wii titles that I have always had the intention of picking up but never did.  I signed up for the service, thinking I would put at most five games in my queue.  After looking through their wares, mine is now up to twenty-four games.

And only two of those were "low" in availability.

So the latest Harry Potter movie will be gracing theaters this weekend, and it seems like every cable channel known to man is running movie marathons of the mightily magical miscreant himself (had to fit in a few more "m"s in that last sentence).  An exciting time for sure, that is if you enjoy crowded rooms with loud, annoying, obnoxious fans that hem, haw, laugh, cry, and comment on anything and everything that appears on screen.  I'm sorry, but I'm here to see a movie... not to hear some delirious person scream "It's HARRY POTTER!!!" every time Daniel Radcliffe comes on screen.

I used to treasure my midnight showings of opening releases.  Now, I treasure my crotchety old self who enjoys the visual and auditory exclusion of others as I experience a media exposure in mental isolation.  Besides, there are people who "dress up" for these movies (much like some do for Star Wars) with the least bit of actual creative inspiration.  Anyone can throw on a cloak and be a wizard, or a jedi, or a vampire.  Please keep your wands to yourself while we're waiting in line, thank you.  This is a public area and there are children present (or at least people who think they're children).  So I avoid these showings and prefer for the more "adult" ones.


Yes, I go to the movies at 10AM on Saturday morning because it's cheaper ($6 at AMC) and because this weeds out the much louder crowd (and crowds in general for that matter).  Which is a breath of fresh air considering that time I went to see Twilight with her.  Some people forget that this is a shared viewing experience, and I don't want your cowl blocking my view of sexy boy wizards.

I know it's probably cliché of me to keep philosophizing on this blog, but you all will have to indulge me for one more metaphysical memoir.


In each and every moment, whether breathing, sleeping, dreaming, or eating... I am uncontrollably moving through time.  No matter what I do, these moments are irrevocable save for a distant memory or tour of nostalgia.  Arguably, I consider this the world's most precious resource... time.

When pondering my chronological travels, it makes me reflect further on what I make of these precious materials.  It is impossible for anyone to feasibly make good intentioned use out of each second, yet how many countless minutes have I thrown away on insignificant endeavors.  When I could clean house, I watch television.  When I could design my game, I instead surf the web.  When I could blog, I fill my time with flash games.

Eventually, I think on all the time I allot for Him and for her, probably less than I should.  Probably less than I say I would.  Definitely, less than I could.  Yet no amount of self-centered reflection accounts for any recovering of lost moments.

I intend to make better use of mine.  While intentions will not slow my journey forward, they may better guide me toward the paths I would rather travel.  Cause eventually I will be out of time entirely.

I graduated in 2008, five years after I entered college (and after I subsequently dropped out and re-enrolled).  Five years of piddling around trying to figure out what the heck I wanted to do with my life.  This was a primary reason I considered enlisting in the Air Force instead of going to college (a decision I sometimes regret).  But I made it through and got a Bachelor of Science degree in Communication Disorders.

Last week, two of my friends became doctors (one of which was my best man and freshman roommate).  A few others are finishing up getting their CCC's (which is what you're supposed to do with the type of degree I got).  Honestly, the biggest thing that came across me this weekend is how fast time goes by.  Some of my friends have already finished 4 years of graduate school.  However, inevitably it came to... gee, what have I accomplished.


When I got out of college, I landed a job that didn't even require a degree.  It was (and has been) a sore point for me, which has only been somewhat offset by health and dental benefits.  Previously, I felt like I had wasted five years of my life in college, and now I felt those fears confirmed.  However, I was determined to not let this get the better of me and proceeded to create a short-term plan (since that's what every self help source seems to say).

In fact, I considered my job as a stepping stone on my three year plan.  The plan was to work at my university for three years, moving up or laterally through various offices over that time, and then finally seek employment elsewhere when time was up.  By that time, I would've explored other career paths, discovered what my dream job would be, and could attempt to pursue it.  Unfortunately, my job became less of a stepping stone and more like a stop sign.  There was no moving up or laterally, and in some ways there was only moving down (see a previous post on this blog about how my net gain has diminished).

Come August, my three year plan will have ended... and ultimately be derailed.  I'm no closer to finding my dream job (let alone acquiring it), or even just figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life.


My friends are doctors... and I'm the guy, wearing a tie, not even sure who he is trying to impress anymore.